So we had our inspection on Monday and as you may be able to tell from the title- well, oh hell no.

We were prepared.  People keep saying sorry to me and looking at me like this horrible thing has happened and I’m going to need some time to get over it.  Um no.  We were aware from the beginning of the very real possibility that the Shithole was way, WAY over our heads.  It turns out we were right on about that.

Days before, Matthew and I had conversations about what exactly we were willing to put up with from the Shithole and what kinds of problems were we willing to stick our neck out for and get a bigger FHA loan.  I imagined the inspector telling us our repairs would cost a bit more than half of what we were offering for the thing in the first place.  That was my max- I would be willing to find a loan to make us whole on this project even if it went all the way up to around 100 grand (not the candy).  I was prepared to consider this offer from the Shithole through conversations with Matthew, our dads, the chihuahuas, random neighbors, co-workers and the Mexicans at the laundromat (although certainly not our mothers, oh god no).

As it turns out a crack in the foundation on three corners of the house, complete roof replacement, upgrades to the electrical and plumbing systems, a brand new HVAC system, securing the floor under the bathroom so the tub doesn’t fall through, replacing plaster, framing the basement, laying new floors and painting was going to cost us well over three times what our original offer on the house was going to be.  I can’t even fathom that amount of money.

So we aren’t buying a house then.  At least for another few days.  We’re going back to the “lets keep our eyes open” stage which is very comfortable for me.  We’ll look at houses, consider the possibility of another offer, imagine going on a cruise this spring instead of coming up with a down payment…  I’m fine with that, even if in 2 years we drive by the Shithole and it is has tranformed into a glorious mansion with a hot tub and gourmet kitchen, we now know for certain that we could not have been the ones to bring it to that point.  To me, I can breathe a sigh of relief.  We did not do something wrong, and to have that certified by a professional feels very, very good.

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