Via text message

Megan:  Fucking shit god dammit Jesus Christ it’s cold! Somebody kill me now!

Four minutes pass

Matt:  One benefit..my dad said copper is really cheap right now.

holymotherofgod

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Megan: Where are they?

Matt:

Megan (walking toward the bedroom, spots a scrap of toilet paper on the floor) Oh no… oh no, oh no no no no no. Oh my god. Oh no. What did you do?????!?!?!

Matt:  What?

Megan: Come in here and look at what your children did!

Matt (starting to pay attention) What? No, I’m not going in there.

Megan: No come in here and look what they did. Oh my god. Dogs!

This happened to us tonight.

This happened to us tonight.